Worrying About What Other People Think

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
Lao Tzu

This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I think everyone, especially my generation, has had their minds warped by social media. We see beautiful, respected and accomplished people who are living their dream lives with dream jobs. We judge what we see online, which in turn has us judge those in our real life. Being exposed to this may inspire us, but it also seems to harm us.

As an aspiring actor, I try the best that I can to not let myself be affected by this. The acting world is filled with beautiful, talented people. I used to have intense anxiety about this – was I pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough? I can tell that even my parents question it – as they should, their my parents!

I ask myself, if I worry so much about looks, failure and how others see me, what is even the point of trying? But I know that there is a point – I have passion, that is what keeps me going. I don’t want other peoples opinions to stand in my way.

There is really only one solution to this madness: don’t care what other people think and follow your intuition. Listening to other peoples opinions has helped, but mainly hindered me. I feel sometimes that I have lost my own voice trying to be right for others.

You won’t have a happy life if you worry so much of about what others think of you. Yet, sometimes I feel like I have to worry about what others think of me – it can land me a job or not. But at the end of the day I know I can never take it personally. I will never know why someone won’t cast me, the hard part is trying to get the voices out of your head saying you are not tall enough, pretty enough, etc.

And lets remember this :

“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” – Ethel Barrett

Here is a great article on some tips that will help you stop worrying about others.

xx Olivia

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New Year.. New Health.

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Me and Mike on New Years

Welcome 2015,

I am sure you all have been inundated with new blog posts, articles and videos with “resolution ideas” for 2015. As a self-help junkie, every year I can not wait to start thinking about the new resolutions I will take on. However, this year is much different: I have no interest in resolutions at all…

About a week before New Years I felt very sick: I was incredibly lethargic, my skin looked terrible and I had trouble falling asleep. Unfortunately, this is the usual for me, except this time it was a bit more extreme.

I had spent the day at my Uncle’s beautiful dinner party filling up on my favorites: baked mac n’ cheese and various sweets. I came home and could barely stand. It wasn’t that I was full, I had sharp pains. I recalled these pains from when I was only 13 years old in Middle School. At that time it became clear to me that I had a weak immune system and most likely had what my nutritionist called Candida. Ever since then I have been researching nutrition immensely and have learned quite a bit.

Since there is an unbelievable amount of information, I tried to keep it simple for myself: my body does not want gluten, dairy or sugar. I knew this due to various health issues I had and the inflammatory issues these foods caused. And believe me I tried everything. I went to various doctors who offered treatments and medications. These would only work temporarily- if at all. What I did notice was I would feel immensely different when my diet changed. However, I knew the only way I could do this was by completely cutting out all the foods I loved (pasta, bread, cheese, chocolate, chai, and even rice). I wanted to beat all of my issues and wipe them out completely for optimum health. The nutritionists I spoke to said it was possible- but I needed to eliminate the foods 100%- at least for a prolonged period of time.

This idea scared me a lot– I felt there was pressure always in the back of my mind. I could eat healthy all day, then screw up at night and it was ruined. Not to mention in school I was so exhausted that I thrived on instant yummy foods and the energy the sugar rush would give me. I always knew it was horrible for me- but I just could not push myself to quit the bad foods.

Flash toward to last week, I remember waking up in the morning. I believe it was the 27th, I started journaling again and wrote down 10 things I was grateful for. This is something I don’t usually do, if I am being honest. That whole day I felt at peace with my body. I didn’t crave wheat or dairy or any form of sugar. But I also didn’t pressure myself, that night I wanted a hot chocolate and instead of stressing myself out, I allowed it. The next day it was a lot easier for me to continue my healthy eating. Why is this? I sort of have an explanation..

I am a perfectionist. I know this because I have been told multiple times. Not in an OCD kind of way, but I expect myself to do the best and sometimes try to be the best. This can be incredibly stressful. I have a mentality that life is tough, so you got to be tough right back. Everything needs to be thought out, planned and executed perfectly, or you will be a step behind someone else. I am a 5″3, privileged female living in NYC with a dream to be a well-respected actor and to help others. I don’t have the mental capability to not be a perfectionist. I truly believe my dream is attainable, it is possible for me (even though I look like a million other wanna be actresses), I just have to be one step ahead. And this is exactly how I have gone about my health. It needs to be perfect. If I failed, oh well, just curl up in bed eating pretzels and watch The Office all night. (That show always makes me feel better about my current life circumstances.) ALTHOUGH, I have begun to realize this not only detrimental for my mental health, its purely unhealthy and I will never succeed at curing my health issues.

I said above that I do not have any resolutions- this is true. If I have a resolution for myself I will not be able to expect anything less then perfect- and you know where I am going with that one. Down, down hill to failure-town. Every year I have resolutions that I write down and every year I look back and say, “oh wow I didn’t keep any of these resolutions, shocker”. I have decided for 2015 I will gradually, at my own pace, begin to break my bad health habits. Now this does not work for everyone, but not only does it loosen pressure for myself, it makes me happy at the small progress I make throughout each day, which encourages me to try harder. In a way its like I am tricking myself.

So that’s that. I will try my hardest to refrain form gluten, dairy and sugar. I think the best way for me to do this is by finding delicious, alternative recipes online. I am really excited for the New Year. I have a lot of new ideas, hopes and dreams for myself. I want to stop thinking and start doing. What about you guys?

Happy New Year,

Olivia xx

Transitions

 

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Hello everyone,

its been far too long! I had quite the hectic summer…

Some highlights :

  • A weekend workshop at the wonderful Omega Insitute.
  • A trip with my entire family (on my Moms side) to Bermuda!
  • My first family wedding.
  • Celebrating my 2 and a half year anniversary (cuz why not? :))

I would like to begin with my story about the Omega Institute. I was reading an amazing book called “The Tools” when I learned that the two authors would be doing a weekend workshop at a beautiful retreat in Upstate NY. I had to go! My mom and I made the three hour trip to the woods where we learned more about our spiritual side and ate extremely healthy food with some kind-hearteded people..

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The authors, also professional therapists to some major celebrities, were funny and seriously helpful. Though their ideas are complex at times, with practice and concentration you can seriously change your life for the better. Everyone should give this book a shot.

 

Now I am starting off at a new school on the Upper East side of Manhattan. So far it has been amazing! I love this area of the city, the vibes are great. Though I loved living downtown, I am really feeling better up here. The energy is great. I am finally in my major: Acting! I am feeling optimistic and love my Professors.

One major theme for me this month is pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I am diving more into music and writing music, working with garageband. I just want to do everything! I start my days now at 7 am and soon hope to wake up earlier. I want to push myself and do the unusual for me. I am thinking of mood boards, visualization projects and organization. Most importantly though: hard work. I really did not work hard for what I wanted last year, this is definitely going to change with my new journey.

 

I have already gotten into the Autumn spirit. I baked a pumpkin pie and pulled out the comfy sweaters.

Currently I am listening to a cool, new young band called Echo Smith. They are incredibly talented and uplifting .

A couple weeks ago I took Mike for his birthday to go see Arcade Fire at Barclays Center in Brooklyn. It was such a beautiful experience it inspired me to want to perform at a few open mics. So we shall see how that goes!

 

I shall keep you posted on some new endeavors.

 

 

xx Olivia

 

 

Bring Some Gratitude to Your Life by Donating to This Amazing Cause!

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Hi everyone,

I am firm believer that when you give you get back.. 

Recently I really needed a job, but it seemed nearly impossible. My schedule is absolutely crazy while in college and basically my only free time is on the weekend. However, living in NYC is not viable without making an income. I felt bad needing to borrow money from my parents.

Instead of stressing about it, I decided to patiently wait and just check craigslist everyday. I had no luck..

My roommate Susan is very good at getting what she wants. When she needed a job, she got it the next day. So I thought maybe Susan would be able to find the job for me, and of course right when she goes to look for one we find the perfect job: a weekend-only hostess position and a very well-known restaurant and the pay was great. I have never worked in a restaurant before, and getting a job in the food service industry in NYC without experience is highly unlikely. But regardless, I showed up for an interview. From what I heard they were considering 3 other people. So I decided I would be grateful for the opportunity, and I gave some money away to a few homeless people I see regularly in the subway stop. Long story short, I got the job! With absolutely no experience! And I was certain I didn’t have it because it took awhile for them to get back to me. But now I am making consistent money and having a blast.. 

So with that, I decided I really wanted to give back and create a campaign called Water for Life.

By donating, you are funding clean water projects. Everyday 5,000 children die from water-related illnesses. Can you imagine that?

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It would be amazing if my awesome 200 followers could donate a few bucks for this cause! I promise you, it will bring some positive vibes to your life. 🙂

Hope you are all having a beautiful day.. 

NYC has been warmin up ! 

Check out Water for Life !

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xx Olivia

 

The Treehouse in Costa Rica!

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My Dad went through this strange phase a year ago where he wanted to be more adventurous.

My family loves to travel, I have been fortunate to travel since I can remember. However, our trips have never been exactly venturesome, due to the fact that they consisted of us getting around on a boat and having everything taken care for us (Royal Caribbean).

I love my parents, but they are getting to that point in time where they find everything to get on their nerves. They just want to lay on a beach and do absolutely nothing for the entire vacation. Which is understandable at their age.
Now why did my father – whom hates to do anything strenuous- decide to put a payment down on a treehouse in the middle of the rainforest? That is a question I still ask myself.

Well the time had come and the day after Christmas my sister, brother, mom and dad caught a five hour plane to San Jose, Costa Rica.

From San Jose we had to catch a tiny 10 person jet for an hour to a small town called Puerto Jimenez. The jet ride was scary but amazing, so many great views.

The treehouse was incredibly designed. It was four stories high- wrapped around a beautiful, large tree. It had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a kitchen. Everything was wide open, except fortunately the bed rooms were screened in. There was no TV, and the wifi wasn’t working.
Our days consisted of being woken up by 20 titi monkeys at 6 am every morning (they would bounce around the trees right next to us!) Then we would wait for breakfast which our lovely caretakers made for us every morning….

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Then we would take a half hour walk to a very clean water river where many locals use the mud for facials and search for gold…

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Then most of the day we would just lay around and read.
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They also had a large garden growing nearby with lots of fruits and veggies growing. I picked up a cucumber everyday!

My dad did not want to drive into town because the roads were so dangerous. However, I also got to go zip lining and that was riveting. It looked terrifying, but it was liberating being able to do it. We were very high up in the rainforest going 60 mph.

One of the most exciting trips is when we decided to take a boat to the animal reserve. On the boat ride we saw a thirty foot whale shark, hundreds of dolphins, and the second most poisonous snake in the world!

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We then arrived to the reserve, apparently they filmed some of Jurassic Park there.. I am not surprised!

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I got to see monkeys, parrots, sloths and lots of birds. The woman that worked there was sweet.. I can not believe she lived there by herself.

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The scariest part of this whole trip was not the fact that everything went black at 5:45 pm every night, or how there were 8 bats living with us in the treehouse, or even how one night I was cleaning the dishes and a huge rainforest animal- called a kinkajou– jumped into the kitchen, stole my fruit and ran off. The scariest part of this trip were the roads. Here in NJ we got pretty nicely paved roads. Puerto Jimenez, Costa Rica has the most terrifying roads I have ever been on. The road leading to the treehouse took us 20 minutes. It was completely made out of dirt and on the left side there was a huge trench you could not get out of, on the right side was a cliff. You fall off you die. We had to do this anytime we wanted to get to the treehouse, or get to the town. This made it very difficult to go anywhere. Even when we wanted to go to the beach it took an hour and a half on very bumpy roads and at times we were driving through rivers and going up cliffs!
It was worth it though…

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On this trip I was able to have bonding time with my family as well as eat healthy and read a lot. I really felt it was the perfect place to spend the New Years, right in the middle of nature. Every morning I woke up the beautiful jungle, and every night I would go to sleep terrified, but it was a great experience.

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Heres some extra pics if you guys are interested in what it looked like. I highly recommend taking the trip if you can. Heres some info on it if you would like!

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I hope you all are having a lovely week. And any Jersey/New York folk are staying safe in this crazy blizzard. It looks beautiful outside!

Soon I will be uploading me and Mikes 2 year anniversary trip to NYC!

xx Olivia

Loving Life

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How is everyones 2014 so far? I started off the New Year living in a tree house in the rainforest in Costa Rica..

Yes it was crazy. I have so many pictures I can not wait to share. It truly was a life-changing experience. I came back with complete positivity and a sense of peace. And that has been my resolution for 2014- to find a sense of peace within myself. 

Every year its the same resolutions…

  • work out everyday 
  • no soda
  • no cursing
  • read books etc…

I find that these resolutions honestly just stress me out. There is always this lingering pressure starting out the New Year. To the point where I am just like ugh I don’t even want to try anymore.

And yes they are important to incorporate into life.. but I find that the pressure is not beneficial to my life.

My important words for 2014 are

  • Gratitude
  • Peace
  • Love

Because without these three things how is a happy life achieved? 

For gratitude I decided to keep a gratitude journal. Every night, or the nights I can, I write down everything I am grateful for that happened that day. It has been going very well!

For peace I decided to turn off the news. No more CNN, USA Today, etc. Although current events can be important, I was constantly checking the news all day everyday purely out of boredom. And I just kept getting hit with more and more bad news. It really started to drag me down in 2013, and give me a pessimistic outlook. So far I have been detoxing from news I actually have a much brighter outlook on life I have to say. I plan on volunteering my time to give back to the community as well.

For love I decided to start giving more loving attention to my family and friends. I felt this past year I really just blew people off for my own personal time. Now everyday I try to talk to friends I barely contact and I have conversations with every family member. I am trying to be a lot more loving and less judgmental. 

 

Resolutions can be hard to keep so my motto is just to take it day-by-day. I know there will be plenty of times this year where I find it difficult to stick to these three words, but there is always tomorrow. Don’t let yourself get stressed because it will all work out, especially if there is gratitude involved! And most importantly treat yourself well.  

I hope everyone is having a wonderful, safe January. 

xx Olivia 

 

Some truly thought provoking questions…

largeIf any of  you are interested in some new-agey awesome blog posts, quotes, stories and pictures, I highly recommend a website I visit from time to time called high existence. Its all about questioning life and certain beliefs, what truly is right from wrong. One post they had was about some questions one might not usually ask themselves. I found it very interesting and wanted to share some of it with all of you! Try asking yourself some!

  • If you had the opportunity to get a large message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?
  • Have you done anything lately worth remembering?
  • Which activities make you lose track of time?
  • What is the difference between living and existing?
  • When you are 90 years old, what will matter to you most?
  • What do you believe stands about between you and complete happiness?

Let me know what you think! And I hope you are all having a beautiful Saturday morning!

P.s. heres the original link :p

Graduation week!

I have finally graduated from high school. I can not even explain how happy this makes me. I realize one of the easiest parts of my life is over (haha) but I’m just so ready to move on and try something new! My high school experience taught me a lot:

1.)Dont judge others, you do not know what they’re going through

2.) How much my generation is obsessed with themselves and materialism

3.) How surprisingly kind some can be

4.) How to handle much rejection and not let it affect me

5.) Spirituality

6.) Do not care what others think of you

7.)Over-thinking will kill you

8.) Health is so so so important

9.) I appreciate who I am

10.) I can do anything I want in my life as long as I work hard.

So I was thinking lately, I really want to work harder I do. But why can’t I? My mind is always foggy, I’m always so tired. I am about to start my new life and I want to start on an excellent note. Recently I keep finding, seeing, or hearing things about juice detoxes. I know how good it would be for me to do it, I am just nervous I’ll fail and be extremely disappointed. I also…. love… food. A lot. Fortunately I am not over weight by any means, but I do have several immune related health problems. And I know changing my diet will help me with everything. Quiet honestly I think its inevitable and I should just go out and buy a juicer now. My sister is even willing to join in with me! Maybe Ill try it out and post how its going everyday, and include pictures.

I feel like my diet has also affected me emotionally, and its been taken out on others :/

I hope you’re all doing well. Summer is here and I am so happy for that and thankful!!

Trip to a Farm

This passed week I had the pleasure to stay at one of the most peaceful places I have ever been, Whistlewood farms in Rhinebeck, NY. It was truly a treat and I can not wait to go back. The woman who owned the little house is an artist and decorated her place with charming pieces of artwork, charming rustic furniture and beautiful antiques. And when we woke up in the morning she had prepared for us a delicious breakfast ! On our trip we also got a chance to stop at the CIA (culinary institute) to eat at one of their restaurants  The food was absolutely delicious! I would definitely go again.

I am officially on my spring break. And most of it has been spent with me worrying about college. I have started getting the rejection letters but I am trying to keep my spirits up. Hope you are all well!

 

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My crazy life, Valentines Day! and new tumblr!

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How is everyone?

My life has been extremely hectic, between college auditions and school in general. But I can’t complain. I haven’t been posting often because we found out my brother had a brain tumor in December. He is absolutely fine now! They got the tumor out and he turned out to be cancer free. It was a serious miracle if I have ever seen one. The tumor was 80% cancerous (the doctors told us). The results came back and it came out to be cancer free! It was a huge blessing and I am so thankful for it. Its amazing what life can throw at you. My whole life turned upside down but now its like nothing happened. He’s back to normal and life is back to normal. Although I am stressing about college, I still find a way to keep the peaceful thinking. At least I try. I think through the experiences of my life the last couple months, my goal in life is really just to be happy and live stress free. And the best part about it is that happiness is a choice. Just a hard one for humans to make at times.

Anyways, its almost Valentines Day guys! A day of love love love. Lucky me this is my second year of having someone on Valentines Day. Since I am 18 year old high school girl all I hear is the same “forever alone, going to sit at home and eat ice cream and scream at the tv, la la la” from all of my friends. Strangely I was never like that when I was single, I’ve always been excited about Valentines Day. Its always made me cheerful :). Probably because I find love extremely fascinating. Its amazing that we can feel so powerful for another human being. And not just a partner but our family too. I felt so much love for my brother when I thought he was in serious danger, even though we havent been very close over the past year. And thats why I’ve been yelling at all my whiny, single friends: Valentines day is not just about love for your boyfriend, but love for your family as well. And friends and life ! Just spread love to everyone that day! Life is so precious and we need be positive as much as we can.

However…. I know i know, Valentines Day is mainly special with your boyfriend/girlfriend. I have never understood the need to spend humongous amounts of cash on Valentines Day. It is almost as if the more you spend = the more you love. NO. Soo silly. Thats why I say cook at home ! Do simple, special things that are about each other. All I know is that this Valentines Day I will remember how happy and lucky I am to have such an amazing person come into my life. I love him for his faults and triumphs. I could go on and on about how he has completely changed my life. But I won’t bore all of you with that.

BY the way…. I have revamped my tumblr!!! : sundaysbreeze.tumblr.com

It is now filled with positivity and things that inspire me 🙂

Hope everyones week is filled with love and excitement!

Olivia ❤